I’m not any good at waiting. I hate sitting in the doctor’s office for an hour past my appt time. I hate sitting in the drive thru lane with someone in front of me who hasn’t quite figured out what they want to order and has to perform magic to find exact change under their passenger seat.
Why? Why do I hate waiting so much? Am I going to die from 2 extra minutes in the drive thru? Am I going to explode if the person ahead of me doesn’t get to ask the doctor all of their questions?
I hate it because I have somehow convinced myself that my time is more valuable than theirs. My wishes and desires are more important than someone else. I hate waiting because it is an inconvenience to me.
I think that is probably why my life verse is Psalm 27:14. “Wait on the Lord; be strong, take heart and wait on the Lord.” When I remember this short wisdom, my attitude changes. When my attitude changes, 3 words are brought to mind: HUMILITY, TRUST and COMPASSION.
HUMILITY – When the Holy Spirit reminds me to wait on THE LORD, I realize how insignificant my desires are. Who am I that I should be above any other human being. We are ALL created in the image of an Almighty God, what makes me so wonderful that I should be valued above any other?
TRUST – When I am reminded to be strong and take heart, I realize that this same Almighty God is so much more powerful, more loving and more intelligent than I will ever hope to be, and with those attributes comes the ability to plan for me a perfect path in HIS perfect timing.
COMPASSION – When I am reminded the second time to wait on the Lord, I remember how forgiving my Savior is to be gently reminding me again and again. This teaches me to have greater patience with that frazzled mother who has to manage just the right combination of doughnuts and coupons in order to be able to afford to give her children a rare treat, while coming up $.57 short at the window.
So what does this have to do with my becoming a missionary? EVERYTHING!! There is so much waiting involved in this process. Even when I am tangibly working toward something, I am waiting for it to be accomplished. I wait for person A to return my inquiry. I wait for person B to connect with person C, I wait for organization D to check out organization E.
It is so easy to become frustrated through this process, but my gracious God keeps whispering in my ear, “Wait on ME, I will give you strength to be strong and comfort to take heart, just wait on ME.”
I still don’t like waiting, but I’m getting better at using each opportunity to grow in humility, trust and compassion.